Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize