Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
