Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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