Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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