it's too hot outside to masturbate.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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