My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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