Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
