STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i would one night stand the shit outta him
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
