You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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