he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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