Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My dick has a subreddit
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
