didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
