i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
