Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
