life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
