Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
they're like a gay fantastic four
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize