Whod you bang
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
