Fuck appropriateness.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
