If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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