My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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