Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize