I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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