eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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