Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
