not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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