Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
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