508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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