I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
