I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
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