Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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