The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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