I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
