its not stalking. its research.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
