Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
