id be glad to
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
