I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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