I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
