It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
