I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
