I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
