Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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