it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
