:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
