you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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