This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
