I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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