I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
