i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
