life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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