From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
