Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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