So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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