You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
