Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And then my night got REAL pukey
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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