if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
