I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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