once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize