so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It's no shave November. This is our time.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
