it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
as a side note pls kill me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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