I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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